People always say how grateful they are for their parents once they become parents themselves. I think this is true, but a bit simplistic. I have found that I do truly appreciate you more now that I have children of my own, but I also find myself examining my childhood anew. Wondering what your motiviation was for certain things you said or did. Wondering how you coped with it all, how you made it through each day. I struggle so much with being a parent. I begin to wonder in what ways you struggled. What your challenges were and why you made the choices you did.I think that being a mother is the most thankless task around. It is relentless. Satisfying the needs of little children is a constant task. It is one marathon after another and leaves no one room for us as individuals. No room for any sense of 'self'. And so I thank you. I thank you for all the nights you lost sleep because I was sick or sleepless. I thank you for doing your best every day. For showing up even when you were tired or just didn't want to. For staying and not leaving. For not turning your back on me even when I tried to push you away or kick you out of my life or my heart. For all that you gave and continue to give constantly, even well into my adulthood. I have never felt so alone as I have felt as a mother, but also such a part of something bigger. All my life I sought to "belong" and I finally feel a part of something here. As if the sum of Josh, Sam, Ben and I is greater than our parts. I often find myself thinking of something I used to say to you and Dad when I was a teenager. I would say that my friends were my family now. And Dad would reply that no one would ever love and support me like my family would. And he was right. I knew this soon after the conversation. But I truly realized this after I had children of my own. People will come and go in Sam and Ben's lives, but I will always be there for them, no matter what. As you have been for me. And so, I thank you.