Sloppy Seconds

It's got to be tough to be the second child (not to mention the third or fourth). Ben's infanthood was pretty idylliic. He cried, I immediately soothed. Sam cries and I say "I'll be there in a minute Sam," which if course really means ten minutes. Because at that point I am usually trying to keep Ben from breaking his neck jumping off the couch or lighting the house on fire. Sometimes I feel so badly for Sam. As my mom says, it will probably make him a better person, but I grieve for the loss of the infant love affair I was able to have with Ben. When it was just he and I being lazy in bed all day. We just slept and nursed and I read to him. It was such a wonderful time. For Sam it is quite a different existence. His comings and goings are dictated by everyone else's needs and schedules. At least he and I have Tuesdays and Thursdays together alone. Once we drop Ben off at school and run a few errands (you'd be shocked how often one person can go to Costco) we come home and have some quiet time. I usually have to work some, but we get a little snuggle time in. I took six months off of working with Ben, but I have been too anxious to get back to work this time. It is so hard to put your career on hold for so long and then ramp up to get back into it. And I am so lucky to like what I do that I want to get back to it quickly. I just hope that Sammy doesn't feel cheated. I want him to know how much he is loved and how important he is to us even if he must live amongst the chaos of our lives.