I have been thinking a great deal about style and voice and wondering what mine is. Is it true to itself or have I not realized it fully yet? Is where I am now simply a step on my way to finding what I really want to say?Lately I have been really interested in the work of Sally Mann and continue to be a huge fan of Cheryl Jacobs Nicolai. I recently saw the documentary "What Remains" about Sally Mann's history, her work and her process. I was fascinated by her and what she does. And I admire the intent that goes in to these two women's work as well as the work of Julie Blackmon. I feel like I too often react instead of planning. And maybe that is okay. Maybe I prefer to have the story unfold in front of me and to act as translator rather than to create and write the story myself.
I worked as a graphic designer for many years and after I graduated from art school I went to a design intensive for a month in Maine for Project M. John Bielenberg, who founded it, often talked about beauty being irrelevant and that design is all about message. But I argued that beauty had an intrinsic message, although I could never articulate what it was. In photography I seek for them both to exist. But am I simply doing the same thing all over again and checking meaning at the front door?
I feel like I have two very distinct sides to what I do. I have the sharp, clear, documentary style work that I do (and which compromises probably 90% of my work) and then I have the softer, moodier side (like what I have shown here). And I cannot seem to make them work together. And so I wonder which one is my 'real' voice? Is the stuff I am showing here simply imitations of other people's work and not my true path?
What I really seek to convey is emotion in all of its forms. I want to show it all: tears, smiles, laughter, frustration, annoyance, everything. I want to look beyond the face we show to the world to find what is inside. I am not afraid to see it all and I find it all has beauty in one form or another. Perhaps it is an impossible goal, but a worthy one to strive for nonetheless.
