Tomorrow I have to drive to Sacramento for my birth father's funeral. Okay. I admit it. I am DREADING it. I cared a good deal for Robert, but showing up at his born-again Christain church does not seem like the appropriate way for me to express that. I ask myself why I am going at all. People will say that I am doing it for me. And perhaps I am. But it feels like I am doing it for the other members of his family.This of course brings me again to the question of what makes a family. Are they my family? I don't really know. Most likely I will never see his sister, his wife, or his children again after tomorrow. But I want Ben to be there to show people that Robert does live on in him. That even though Robert has died, there is still a part of him that endures in Ben.