Tucker passed away two week ago today. We had to make the agonizing decision to put him down at the age of 14. A year ago Tucker stopped using his back legs overnight. After taking him to a specialist we discovered that he had a neurological problem. He was not in any pain and he got around okay (kind of like a seal dragging his back legs) so we let him be. We bought an expensive wheelchair thingy, but he wanted no part of that, so after trying for awhile we abandoned that. Life went on for quite a bit like this and then about two months ago he stopped being able to move around at all. He could not walk to his water bowl or go to the bathroom without having to sit in it. So we decided it was time to let him go. I felt pretty good about my decision until the actual day that the vet came to the house and then I just fell apart. She was an amazing vet and Tucker went out of this world very comfortably, but I was devastated. Tucker had been the only constant in my daily life for the past fourteen years. He went everywhere with me. I took him to France with me, in the car with me, just everywhere.
We tried to prepare the boys and they seemed to take it in stride. Ben told me the day after he passed that, "All of Tucker's legs work in doggie heaven." Sam just kept asking if we could pick up Tucker in two minutes. I kept my grief pretty close to my chest. I seemed to feel that since Tucker and I started out just the two of us, I was going to circle back to that at the end.
I miss him very much. Dogs love you unconditionally and I got Tucker at an extremely emotionally trying time in my life. So I needed him more than he needed me. He was such a good dog. As an atheist I have found his death even more trying and I have suddenly felt the need to believe that we will meet again someday. I will always hold him in my heart in a special place reserved just for him. He was my Tucker Man and he was lovely.
