So I just got this huge project with my friend Jean and I am going to be SWAMPED for the next month with the new project and all of my existing ones. My friend Camille told me I should go out and celebrate my new job and all I could think is "I can't go out. I need to work!" And now ALL I can think about is how tired I am going to be. I had to take a nap today to start building up my sleep storage. If only it worked that way.Ben woke up last night at 2 and I was flabbergasted. It felt like hell to get out of bed and get up with him (well, actually Josh did it, but I had severe sympathy pains). Then I realized that if we have another child WE WILL HAVE TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. This is why getting knocked up is a good thing. No overthinking it. I have to put Ben in 5 day per week childcare for the rest of the year so I can do all this work and I ALREADY feel guilty. Keep in mind that this kid likes being with his 2 childcare buddies and caregiver much more than with boring ol' me (and can you blame him?) But I still feel like a heel. Kids are such a damned if you do and...you know the rest.