Home on the Range

Josh is safely back home from the hospital now. The verdict ended up being pretty much what we thought it would be. After a multitude of tests they basically said that they do not know what happened. I am terrified to see the bill. Luckily we have good insurance, but I am sure we will still have to pay something. Listen to me. What a cynic. Mostly we are of course so happy that Josh is fine. I am not done with that boy yet. I still need him. It has been a tough couple of days and I have had no patience with the children. I end up snapping at them and then think that I have permanently damaged them. Ben is incredibly sensitive and since I was that way as a child I am hyper aware of being short with him. I feel like crap about it. I often wish I could be a different kind of person and mother. But I am having one of those "I am going to eat some worms" days so I won't go on too much about that.Sara saved me yesterday when I sent out a plea for help. Luckily she took the boys BEFORE I had to call the 'I am going to give my children away' hotline. She and hubby Russell AND Sara's dad took the boys for the afternoon and for a pizza dinner. I was going to go see Twilight because I really needed something mindless and entertaining, but the theater did not have a 4:15 showing like Yahoo said it did, so I was at a loss as to what to do with myself for a couple of hours. I always pray for free time and then when I have it I can't quite remember what I used to do for fun. So I did what every woman in my situation would do. I went shoe shopping. And I SCORED. Five pairs of shoes for $50. Three from Goodwill and two from Ross. Woohoo! I am so grateful and appreciative for all the kind words and thoughts we have gotten over the past few days, not to mention all of the help. In addition to Geni, Kell, Sara and Russell, much gratitude to Melanie for taking them this morning when she already had a very full house. And to Melissa who organized a care calendar to give me aid. With no family here in Austin, I have no idea what I would do without the wonderful support of my Austin friends and the O'Mamas. This is starting to sound like an acceptance speech, so I will stop. But first I would like to thank my mother.